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Lemons of the Ladder

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I’m broke, so I asked god to surprise me and he hasn’t; should I really be surprised? I think there’s more to universal laws than wonderment in the Skies. “How do I get up there?”

“Hey, would you look at that, a man made ladder, Babylon. Fuck fifty bucks a climb!”

Back to believing in something that only disappoints. I’m so sick… of believing in something that gives me what I “supposedly” need, I’d rather want my wants; a bank account full of women and a spouse made of gold. Maybe I shouldn’t be so childish to get upset with my frailty of faults. Ugh, It’s just frustrating to keep on failing, to keep coming up short – handed life a lemon, she threw it in my face; I took it as a sign, combined it with a stand and I squeezed until it dried, I should of massaged it first, then my drinks would be more refined; an easier sell, but to hell with it, I’m rushing against time; I need to make $50! So I pushed with force and burst the skin, blood of lemons, landing in my eyes, burning a sensation, I’ve felt many times. Despite my pain and an end product of disdain, it’s time to sell some lemonade. “Here is some clumpy sour shit, would you fancy a taste?” I’m finding it hard to focus, my mind needs some first-aide, to help stay on line. On track to make tracks and dollars of cents, so hopefully I can make sense of all these questions, especially the questions -

  1. Why?
  2. Why!?
  3. Why!!?

Ah! I wish god would save me, save me from myself. It’s tough to be out here, cased in broken flesh, the brokenness of self. You left me with a deadly combination; my thoughts and a bleeding spirit, one distancing from me as it seeps, I’m unsuccessfully trying to cup the pooling blood and push it back, believing that I can save me. Aye, yi, I Failed. Please just stop the bleeding and please come back.

Thank you for saving Grace, she means a lot to me, but where are you? How am I supposed to believe in something I can’t see? Wait. I do that all the time. I believe in dreams of grandeur, visions of what could be, and I believe in me, a person I can’t even see… accurately, for what I really am. A man fired with ambition; who recently lost his job. A boy hanging onto wishes, daydreaming in yesteryears fog, forgetting his purpose to be driven, he’s driving a shitty stand. Lemons were my humble beginning, they afforded the start of my arduous plan; to climb up the ladder, but the ladder represented a lie. The first steps seemed so hard, how much higher must I climb? To find a pot of gold; gold plated lies.

“Why are there so many snakes on these rungs, trying to ruin my plot?”

“…um, that snake looks like me!”

I keep slipping as I step, they’re slithery; it’s starting to feel like I’m going to rot in this same spot. The ladder has turned into a stair master, a master slave-driving bastard. Whipping me with awareness of time. I’m racing against a clock, trying to ascend up the ladder as fast as possible, away from the clock. Ah, the ascension of a go-getter who finally reached the top, an old man. I traded my life for this view and what a forgettable sight! It’s lonely up here and it’s only been one night! I think I figured it out, through another of life’s tough bouts; the top is where you choose it to be. You’ll find the gold anywhere you want, it’s all depends on how you view your lot. Vertigo got me off the ladder; I’m free falling to my end… Wham! I’m back to the same spot? God surprised me with a glimpse of wasted time,uncovering the gold plating from the lies and revealed to me the lemons of the ladder. Now I’m richer than my wants.


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